hey what’s up
Dear lord




I remember my trip two years ago, to San Francisco. I took a cab to this bridge while my sister was on a conference call. I stood there for about two hours, looking down, people watching, and wondering how far down the water was. A girl sat next to me, and asked me, “You’re not going to jump„ are you?” I smiled and reassured her I wasn’t. That I was just a tourist. She then said, “You look a lot like my sister. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable. But I had to ask, can I hug you? You just look so much like her.” I felt awkward at first, but then I realized. “She jumped?” This girl’s face just crumpled, and she started crying. I hugged her, without a second thought, and for some reason I apologized. Not sure what else I could say. She goes, “Those were the last words she ever spoke to me.”
And I will never forget this girl, her name was Ariana.

reblogging just for the caption, omg. 

crying because of the caption omfg

omfg this story is making me cry
awww i’m about to cry ;(
When my absence doesn’t alter your life, then my presence has no meaning in it.

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Many of us know Olive Garden’s slogan When You’re Here, You’re Family.  Well, I recently put that to the test.
The tables were wooden and nice to sit at.  The chairs were also comfortable.  The view wasn’t anything special, but there was a pretty cool looking van in the Walmart parking lot that had flames on its sides. 
I was immediately offered wine, and after admitting I was underage, refused wine.  If you’re going to offer me wine, please don’t rescind your offer.  It’s common courtesy.
The napkins were probably the highlight.  They were cloth and worked really well at cleaning the windows.  One waiter told me I didn’t have to do that, but I insisted.  After all, I like a good, clear view of parking lots.  Who doesn’t.
Finally, it was time to order.  I went with the pizza.  The menu said I could pick four toppings, so I chose half portions of eight toppings.  There were only seven to choose from, though, so I made one up.  “…and blorgaspork.”
"Sorry?  What is blorgaspork?"
"That’s your job to know, now isn’t it."
After a reasonable wait, my food arrived.  It was a really good meal, not exactly overpriced, but not exactly underpriced either.  It was just priced.
My waiter soon arrived and asked me if I wanted dessert. 
"Steve," I said, "Have a seat."
He did.
"I have this business idea.  And while I’m here, and we’re family, I was hoping you could give me a loan."
Steve tried to laugh it off.  Like it was some kind of joke.  I was offended and he could tell.  “Steve, this isn’t a joke.”
Steve looked a bit nervous.  I grabbed his hands and pinned them to the table.  “Are we family or not, Steve.”
"Not in the literal sense…" said Steve.  I wasn’t going to let him reason his way out of this one. 
"Look, Steve.  I cleaned your windows.  Family does that for each other.  They clean each others’ windows.  Now, don’t you think I deserve that loan?  We’re family, Steve, we’re family."
Steve handed me 13 bucks.  “Thanks, Steve.”


every once in a while i check up on people i hate to make sure i still hate them

i do

(via heylookitstimmy)

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